The Light Party Plans Alcatraz Conversion

This would probably be of interest to David Lynch. Hell, he might even like its philosophy...

The Light Party - the latest entrant into the arena of political parties - is a self-described "wholistic, proactive, educational, empowerment party is a synthesis of the Republican, Democratic, Libertarian and Green Parties." Founded by Da Vid, the party has a seven-point plan for solving all our current political problems, through the power of synergy - "Synergy is natural magic," their agenda explains, "a universal law, which exists in our infinitely abundant and compassionate universe . . . Through the power of Synergy, we have an invaluable tool for healing the Earth and each other."

First step in healing the world - take over Alcatraz island. You know Alcatraz - that island prison that once housed Al Capone that no one could break out of that was subject of nineties Hollywood blockbuster The Rock. (It featured the memorable line, "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen," as delivered by Sean Connery). As I was saying, the Light Party has proposed turning Alcatraz (now a major tourist attraction) into the Global Peace Center.
They've got a measure on the ballot, but you could say this is a real battle of Da Vid and Goliath considering what they are up against ... even in San Francisco. The very liberal San Francisco Bay Guardian is not endorsing it:

We understand why some people question why a decaying old prison continues to be a centerpiece of Bay Area tourism. A monument to a system that imprisoned people in cold, inhumane conditions doesn't exactly mesh with San Francisco values.

But the Alcatraz Conversion Project, which proposes placing a half–golf ball–like Global Peace Center atop the Rock, is a wacky idea that looks and sounds like a yuppie tourist retreat and does little to address the island's tortured past. People don't have to support everything with peace in the title.

The proposal includes a white domed conference center for nonviolent conflict resolution, a statue of St. Francis, a labyrinth, a medicine wheel, and an array of what proponents call "architecturally advanced domed Artainment multimedia centers."

We agree with the ideal of dedicating the island to the Native Americans who fished and collected birds' eggs from this once guano-covered rock for thousands of years and whose descendants carried out a bold occupation at the end of the 1960s. But this proposal seems based on wishful thinking, not fiscal or environmental realities.

The plan is backed by the Global Peace Foundation, which is a branch of the San Francisco Medical Research Foundation, a Mill Valley nonprofit founded by Marin resident and Light Party founder Da Vid. It's just goofy. Vote no.

The Plunderbra

When a slim but busty woman was stopped as she tried to enter Britain, Customs officers discovered a new item of underwear - the Plunderbra.

With secret pouches placed in each cup, up to £50,000 worth of cocaine can be concealed as traffickers seek ever more inventive ways of smuggling drugs.

It is discovered only if the trafficker is strip-searched or asked to go through a scanner.

Pictures of the modified lingerie show the lengths to which traffickers will go to bring cocaine into Britain from West Africa, in particular Ghana.

Other examples revealed yesterday include hollowed-out coat hangers, which can each contain £5,000 worth of cocaine, converted buttons, curtain beads, shoes and suitcases.

Test List

• Tins of fruit juice, rum bottles and toiletries are also used - as are clothes which have been soaked in the drug.

• Without doubt the most dangerous technique involves the trafficker swallowing vast quantities of cocaine to avoid detection.

• One recent case involved a drugs mule from Nigeria consuming 100 plastic bags shaped like cocktail sausages, each containing 12 grams of cocaine with a total street value of £60,000.

Had even one burst open in the smuggler's stomach, the consequences would have been dire.

Test Quote

They were analysed by experts at the Forensic Science Service, which plays a key role in gathering evidence on behalf of Customs officials, and the suspect is now awaiting trial.

Details of the methods used by drugs traffickers emerged as two British schoolgirls prepare to be sentenced in Ghana for trying to smuggle £300,000 of cocaine into London.

Yatunde Diya and Yasemin Vatansever, both 16, are expected to be sentenced to up to three years in youth detention this month.

Narcotics officers say the girls were "mules" paid £3,000 each to carry laptop bags with the drugs on a flight to Britain last July.

The girls, pupils at City and Islington College in London, claimed they did not know the drugs were in their luggage.

Vatansever is the daughter of immigrants from Cyprus, while Diya is of Nigerian descent. Both are UK citizens.

They were held trying to board a British Airways flight to Heathrow carrying two bags containing more than 13lb of cocaine.